James McKew

Each participant was issued a plastic swag bag, and told to see how many corporate T-shirts they could stuff inside the bag. This year’s winner was Barry Tonguengroof of White Plains, who managed 568 freshly minted XL-cotton short sleeves without splitting a seam.

Way to go, Barry! We all know what your friends are getting for Christmas!”

 Barry is a mid-level buyer for a sporting goods chain in upstate New York. He’s the ideal attendee at the world’s largest outdoor showcase. Last Monday, Barry kissed his wife goodbye, boarded a plane at La Guardia, and became the human personification of a cannonball hurdling through Vegas casinos on a quest to destroy his liver in five days, or die trying.

SHOT is held every January, the only month of the year that Las Vegas manages to avoid smelling like Chanel No. 5 and a high school locker room had a baby together.

This year, the show was split into two separate casino venues because the convention center was over-booked with the National Dental Implant Show, the Bavarian Stien Maker’s Expo, and the National College of Weather Reporters: ‘Let’s-All-Get-Our-Stories-Straight’ Summit.

The SHOT show draws the biggest names in gun manufacturing, social media, and aging celebrities.Through the spotting scope, I watched as Barry took selfies with an Elvis Presley impersonator, a TV star from the ‘70’s, and an OnlyFans actress. Is it actress or actor? I get confused sometimes, and besides, Barry isn’t intending to nominate her for anything more than a single performance she gave in the truck bed of a southbound Chevy last summer.   

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, right, Barry?

This year, SHOT implemented a dress code with the theme, “Wild West.”

1. All heads must be covered by a felt cowboy hat. If you arrive without a hat, you will be given a substitute made of cardstock with the words SHOT ’26 emblazoned on the sides. Barry liked the hats so much that he got one every time he went on the showroom floor and is collecting them for his Yellowstone-themed Super Bowl party.
2. Button-down cowboy shirts with paisley patterns sewn in the shirt pockets are mandatory. If you arrive without the proper shirt, a faux cowboy shirt printed on a long-sleeve T-shirt will be issued. The words: Chew so sweet, you’ll want to swallow! stenciled across the back, and in smaller letters, Rocky Mountain Snuff ™
3. Pants must be worn at all times, unless you are attending one of the many private sales meetings around town, where camo boxer briefs are considered business-casual.

Barry Tonguengroof managed to squeeze down crowded rows of booths, stopping to peer at rifles and fanny packs, noting what his customers might want for next year. Afterwards, I caught up with him in a casino lounge where a Milli Vanilli cover band was lip-singing to their biggest hits.

“Tell me what you like best about the show this year, Barry.”

“My favorite product was this AI-generated background simulator for hunters. It’s a streaming service app for your phone. Say you’re out deer hunting when you are supposed to be at work, and your boss calls around to check on you. This thing makes it so you can live-stream him while you’re sitting up in the treestand. Behind you,  the background looks like your office, the jobsite, whatever. People walking around, background noise, the works. All AI-generated. A total game changer for the outdoorsman.”

“That good, huh?” I asked.

“So, good,” Barry said, leaning in with a sly grin. “Tell you what. I just tried it out an hour ago. Videoed my wife, told her I was upstairs, in the buffet line. She had no clue I was actually standing in an underground bunker, tossing back free shots of Crown Royal, and betting our retirement savings on cowboys who rope and ride Bengal tigers for eight seconds. It was something right out of Roman times, I tell ya. So amazing, I can’t even describe it.” He held up three fingers. “Vegas, baby! Where else can a guy drink, bet on tigers, and still get his job done while standing around in camo underwear? You tell me?”